Tales Of A Grumpy Cunt

Tony Stark: The Iron Man, The Myth, The Legend.

2012-01-20T23:32:00.004Z

Iron Man is the most amazing film ever. Period.

Why? Because every single man on this planet would love to be Tony Stark. If they don’t, they’re mentally challenged. Or gay. Slurs aside, it’s all theoretical, because every man on this planet WOULD want to be Tony Stark. This is a story about a man who has everything and wants more…

Our story begins with Stark travelling with a military entourage, having successfully pitched his new super-duper explosive weaponry (the Jericho missile) to the US military in Afghanistan. You could say, it was a blast?

This is about as good as it gets for Stark and celebrations are all go, joking with the soldiers, posing for photographs and getting attacked by the locals… Wait, what?

CheeeeeeeeeeSHIT!!!!

As suddenly as the attack started, it's finished with Stark mortally wounded by one of his own weapons. In the brief period of time before death consumes him, Stark has a moment for that to sink in...

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??!

So, Tony’s dead and the baddies win, right? Wrong motherfucker, were you not listening? This is Tony! Fucking! Stark!

Despite the fact that he has been abducted by some form of Afghan terrorist cell and has tiny bits of deadly shrapnel flowing through his bloodstream, which will soon reach his heart and end him, Stark is saved by fellow hostage, Yinsen. Yinsen, being somewhat awesome himself, hooks Stark up to a car battery, via a crude device which acts as an electro-magnet to stop said barbs reaching his heart. Seeing how Stark is appreciative of his second chance, he takes up cave-baking.

Just kidding. Stark totally teabags Yinsen and proves his dominance as a God by creating a miniature Arc Reactor, using a few random bits found in a standard terrorist cave. The Arc Reactor is essentially a nuclear power plant in your pocket. Using this not-so-crude device, Stark has Yinsen implant the Arc Reactor into his chest, powering the electro-magnet that keeps him alive. Stark also plans to use the power-source to fuel his means of escape.

You see, Stark is being held against his will by the terrorists, as they want him to construct a version of the Jericho missile for them. To achieve this, they provide Stark with a large amount of weaponry, much of which appears to have been acquired from Stark Industries, Tony's parent company, the worlds number one weapons manufacturer. How this has been acquired, we do not know. That is, unless you happen to speak Urdu, in which case, the terrorists tell you at the very start of the movie in their ransom video. Obie Stane, Stark's partner who co-founded Stark Industries, put a hit out on Stark's head, wanting to become head of the company. It was this failed attempted assassination that led to Stark's capture.

Whilst this is unknown to Stark, he has no choice but to assist the terrorists and build a Jericho missile. Well, at least, he would have, had he not decided to put Scrapheap Challenge to shame and build his death-machine. Using some not-so-effective cloak and dagger techniques, Stark and Yinsen are able to construct "something". It is while they are powering up this contraption that the terrorists realise that at no point in all the surveillance have they seen anything even remotely resembling a missile. Running out of time, Yinsen decides that the only way they can escape is if he buys Stark some time with a Kamikaze run. This leads to Yinsen being killed, but grants Stark enough time to power up his machine... This:

Awwwwwwww yeeeeeeaaahhhhhhh!!!!

Now, freshly fuelled with vengeance for Yinsens death, Tony proceeds to unleash hell on those terrorist bastards!

How do you like yours? Medium Rare?

Obviously, being an absolute fucking DEATH MACHINE, Tony destroys the vast majority of the terrorists and escapes, in a fashion that would have had Rambo shitting his knickers. After wondering the desert, in a scene that's reminiscent of a certain Sci-Fi movie starring two droids, Tony is located by the US Army and escorted home. Once semi-recovered (full recovery isn't needed, when you're TONY FUCKING STARK!) and having witnessed the destruction that his weapons have caused by falling into the wrong hands, Tony ends Stark Industries involvement in their prime area of business, weapon manufacturing.

Every classic movie has an element of irony to it and Iron Man is no exception. While wanting to keep weapons out of the hands of irresponsible terrorists, Tony immediately starts work on perfecting both of his rough cave contraptions, the ARC Reactor and the Iron Man suit.

I hope he had his Tetanus jabs...

That's right, an egotistical, borderline alcoholic with a number of personality disorders (please, see image above), solely possessing what could be the worlds most devastating weapon. AWESOME!!! I could go into the ethics of Tony's decision, but that's covered in Iron Man 2, which you really should watch, because it's even better than the first. In perfecting the Iron Man suit, Tony makes a few errors along the way. I feel that this is to let us connect with Tony, urging us to believe that WE could be that man...

... who can survive being rocket propelled into a concrete wall at 100mph...

... who can destroy things in our basement (surviving another meeting of flesh and concrete)...

... and can afford to destroy vintage sports cars.

Meanwhile, the board of Directors don't really see the companies new, peaceful direction as a sensible course of action, so freeze Tony out of the leadership citing diminished judgement due to stress. During this turn of events, Tony also discovers that Obie Stane is the guy who tried taking him out, so he could run the company himself. Power-hungry motherfucker.

Feeling somewhat betrayed, Tony does the most sensible thing he can think of... He takes his rough cave contraption and totally pimps that shit through the roof!

DEEEE-OOOOOOOHHHH BOOM!!!

Tony then proceeds to right his wrongs...First on the naughty list is the terrorist cell that captured him in the first place. Tony learns that these motherfuckers have been using Stark Industry weapons to reign havoc over Yinsen's hometown, as terrorists-with-weapons-of-mass-destruction would do.

Same shit, different paint job.

Upon returning home, Tony is left for dead by Obie Stane, who using a temporary paralysing tool, literally rips out Tony's updated ARC Reactor, so that he can reverse engineer it and use it for his own nefarious purposes. IE Building his own Iron Man suit, that's ever so slightly larger and more menacing.

I believe that Obie's Iron Man was accurately modelled on Jeff Bridge's physique.

Saved by using his original ARC Reactor (you know, the piece of shit cave-junk?) and the assistance of a machine that puts Apple products to shame (Siri, go fuck yourself), Tony has a final battle with Obie Stane's Iron Man in his own under-powered Iron Man suit. Luckily for Tony, he has a secret weapon, which helps him save the day...

... HE IS TONY FUCKING STARK!!!

Which doesn't bode well for Obie Stane (who is not Tony Stark).

So, what's happened??!

2011-07-04T23:42:00.005+01:00

Howdi all! It's certainly been a long time since I've poured by brain out on here, so I guess we're in need of a quick catch-up!

On the whole, my life hasn't overly changed. I am still working for a major bank, only a bit higher up the food chain now, at least, that's what we'd tell you. I'm still slightly Bi-Polar, from time to time. I'm still full of random thoughts that I really should turn into opportunities. I'm slightly more outgoing nowadays, due to feeling a bit more confident when being "me". I'm still playing guitar, occasionally. I'm still an avid gamer-geek. My body is still about ten degrees hotter than everyone elses. I haven't yet re-grown a kidney, so still down by one. I still don't really like the way I look, but I'm working on it. I'm definitely still naughty...

The only major difference in my life today are the following:

1) Manda and I split up during the New Year of 2009/2010. It was an amazing relationship while it lasted and she still means a hell of a lot to me. Obviously, we lived together for years. We don't really speak much now, as I think we're both a bit awkward, which is sad really, but that's just the way it goes. In the divorce, she adopted both Millie and Tippi, again something I was very sad about, but it was the right thing to do. I love all three of them and I always will have a little spot in my heart for them.

2) After Manda, I mainly remained single for longer than I was comfortable for. It took a long time to get my head straight after the relationship ended and I really didn't do the dating game for until a full year and a bit later. I had a few offers along the way, but my mind just wasn't in it. When I was ready to try the whole romance angle again, I met someone who I literally thought was amazing, let my guard down and completely obliterated what self-confidence I had gained over the previous year. I won't talk about it on here, as it became pretty much public knowledge at the time.

3) After episode number two, I literally had no confidence again, however have slowly been pulling it back recently due to two main factors. Firstly, I have an amazing, sincere, honest and loving group of close friends whom I would literally give my life for. Kerry, Michael, Ricky, Michelle, Samantha, Natasha, Luke, Stacie, Glenn... You guys have all done me a solid over the past year or two and I shall always remember it. In addition to the above, there's a few other newbies in my life who I appreciate just as much, for making my life better on a day to day basis. Charlotte, Nikky, Nicola, Colin... You guys make my life that little bit sunnier every day.

4) I am now living back in Hemel Hempstead. This is something that I want to change in some way, soon, as I would like to have my own place again, which I miss a lot. I'm happy where I am, but I do miss my independence and freedom to just say "Hey friends, come round mine tonight, we're watching movies and eating pizza!" It's not such a bad thing living in Hemel anymore. On the whole, it's alright and it IS close to my workplace, so I can't complain.

As for the future, who knows what that will hold? I have a new laptop, which I am desperate to actually use regularly for something useful. So far, that might just be blogging, webdesign and recording music, but who knows where it'll end up. I might take up computer programming again. Or learn photoshop. Or create the "next big thing" on the web?

In terms of work, I can't imagine much happening. Really, I need to try and find somewhere where I can move onwards and upwards to, as I think I could earn more money for what I do, so why not go out there and try to push myself?

For friends, I'd not want to change one fucking thing, besides maybe see them even more and open up to them a little bit more, as I'm still generally a very introverted person.

For love, who knows. I honestly feel like I'm missing the boat a little bit as every year passes by. What's the worst part, is that I'm not going begging. I have had offers and interests, but nothing ever seems to feel right.

Anyway, I think that's all I care to share for now. Take it as a summary if you will. Hopefully, I will get back into the blogging scene properly and possibly provide you guys with some actual entertainment along the way?

Peace out, Dan x

Portal - (During lunch break at work, sorry for poor quality write-up)

2009-08-10T14:48:00.005+01:00

This weekend, I had the pleasure of completing Portal (a component of the almighty "Orange Box") on the Xbox 360. Having known relatively nothing of this game, I was pleasantly surprised at how good it was. Yes, it is short, but not enough to make you feel like you've been short-changed and considering the overall experience and the result upon completion, I think the length of the game is pretty much spot-on.

For those of you who, like me, missed the hype, the game is a platformer with a twist. You wake up in a stasis-type pod and have no knowledge of your character. There is silence in the room and an ominous countdown timer on one of the walls. Eventually, you are greeted by a voice that you will come to love by the end of the game, voiced expertly by Ellen McLain. You quickly learn that you are a "test subject" and are exposed to a variety of chambers, each with it's own puzzle to solve. The aim is quite simple. Get from point A (your insertion point) to point B (for the majority of the game, an elevator). This goal progressively gets more difficult to the point of being seemingly impossible. You do have a secret weapon however... A "Portal" gun.

This gun can open and close two Portal entrances on a number of flat, stationery surfaces, one orange and another blue. Enter one portal and you shall emerge from the other. Coupled with the minor limitations of the gun, this makes the game extremely interesting. There is more than one way to solve each chamber, although they will all follow the same basic route. What makes the game really fun is it's use of physics. Momentum can be exchanged from one portal to another. The best way to explain this is in GlaDos' explanation... "Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out".

I cannot describe much more about this game without spoiling it, so I shall leave you with my utmost recommendation to try this game. I haven't ever finished a game where the ending credits was just as awesome as the game itself.

ChaPP

P.S. If you are like me and sometimes can't trust someone's recommendation of something, but still want to experience the pay-off, go to Youtube and search for "GlaDos - Still Alive"... It's still awesome, but the context will be wasted on you.

Millie!

2008-09-13T23:25:00.004+01:00

I'd like you all to meet mine and Mandas' new kitten, Millie! She's a very little, fluffy silver Tabby girl and she is probably the perfect kitten lol. She's very inquisitive and likes exploring around the house but ALWAYS comes running back to cuddle on our laps.

This first two pictures were taken in the car, just after we had first collected her. She was lying a basically a crisp-box which was lined by a towel and then my fleecey blacket.

This photo shows just how tiny she is, snuggling up next to me.

I was extremely lucky to catch her while she meowed... Or should I say, squeeked. It makes her look like a tiger!

This photos were taken in our kitchen while we prepared dinner. This silver skirting is only around an inch and a half high and she likes to lie under it!

This is my favourite picture. She was trying NOT to fall asleep on Mandas' lap, unsuccessfully, I might add. Her eyes kept on closing, followed by her head dropping slowly, only for her to suddenly wake up, looking around as if to say "What did I miss?!"

Modern Art? More please!

2008-08-23T09:44:00.022+01:00

Anyone who knows me, knows I am far from artistic. I tried my hand a few times on DeviantArt, but they were piss-poor. I have never been very good at viewing the prettier side of life and so, much artwork is wasted on me.

I once visited the Modern Art museum in London with my girlfriend, only to view much of it as a joke. For instance, one "exhibit" was just a television, playing a looping clip of some french guy, dressed as a jester, jumping around and stomping his feet, having a tantrum. Maybe if I was stoned, that may have made sense, but I wasn't... So it didn't.

Recently, however, I have been coming across modern artwork on the internet that has not ony impressed me, but interested me also! The two main types I shall point out today, for anyone who hasn't witnessed them yet, are Smoke Art and Reverse Graffiti.

Smoke Art, is pretty much as you'd imagine. People use smoke to create art. I guess a lot of it is purely luck, trial-and-error, as to whether you create something visually appealing however artists can mould the shapes somewhat as well as specify the colour of the smoke by burning certain fuels. In addition to choosing the right setting/background, some interesting visuals can be achieved.

These three examples above are purely experimental art. The artist creates smoke and lets nature takes it's course, documenting the whole process to pick out the best images. The smoke can obviously be manipulated by moving the source and blowing air around the enviroment. The lighting also has a huge effect on the image.

The image above is enhanced by the intense colours. These are created solely by changing the fuel. In this instance, by burning incense sticks.

Finally in the above image, Smoke Art is enhanced further via digital manipulation. Some argue that this detracts from the artistic value, however for the right purpose, you can see how stunning the image can be. This technique is mainly used in advertising. You may have seen an anti-smoking campaign that features a burning cigerette with the smoke rising up into the shape of a skull.

Reverse Graffiti is probably my favourite "modern art" of all. I am sure you have all seen this before, in the form of someone writing "Clean Me" on a dirt-ridden car? Well a few artists have taken this concept 8 steps further. Simply put, Reverse Graffiti is the process of creating art by removing dirt, dust or grime from the environment.

The above piece of work is by an artist going by the nickname "Moose - aka Paul Curtis". If you live in or around London, you may be lucky enough to see some of his work, that's if the weather doesn't beat you to it.

The above images are from a tunnel in Sao Paulo, Brazil by an artist named Alexandre Orion. There is a video somewhere on Youtube documenting this entire piece.

Now, here is an example as to why these guys take the "Clean Me" concept 8 steps further. An artist named Scott Wade was responsible for this artwork. Apparently, it is his car... And his daughter.

Lastly, Reverse Graffiti can be used for advertising too. It's ironic how nature helps in creating Smoke Art, but destroys Reverse Graffiti.

Well, I guess I'll give this another shot...

2008-07-31T20:25:00.012+01:00

So yeah, I'm back... Once more. I was really wanting to get into the whole blogging scene a few months ago and failed miserably. I guess I just wasn't really up to it, but this time will be different (like always).

I don't really think much has changed over the past few months. Powergen/E.ON still haven't billed me correctly, so I'm waiting on a bill to arrive in September for both gas and electricity, which will amass to a whole years worth of dual-fuel. That's something I'm pretty anxious about, as I'll still have to pay the council tax, water bill, TV license, rent, car payment and insurance all on time. I'm really angry at Powergen and I really would like to take it further and be compensated for the hassle they've caused me, but I just want the whole ordeal to be over and done with. I dread getting letters from them, because I know it will be MORE trouble that I really can't cope with right now. Overall, I have spent over 16 hours on my mobile to them which comes to a figure of around £250 of phone bills. All they have to do is listen to me tell them two figures and not screw up when writing them down. So far... EPIC FAIL. I have even got them to read the figures back to me a few minutes after dictating them and they were correct. How to they manage to fail between hanging up and billing me?

Anyway, enough of those bastards. Never let the bastards grind you down. I'm trying at least. Frankly though, I'm majorly unhappy, depressed I think, but not confirmed by a doctor. Just another thing I can't bring myself to face. Procrastination is my fault right now.

For my life to improve, I know I have to make some major changes. I have a wonderful girlfriend for sure, but all this anger, frustration and depression is not healthy for a relationship so I try not to talk to her about it, but then I feel like I'm keeping secrets. Believe me though, I know that I need to keep it from her. About 12 painful failed relationships have taught me that. AND the relationship failing only ever adds more pain, even though I know some of the breakups were definitely good for me in the end. Mental-headcases... Not even in the medical way, just plain scary... And from me, that's saying something!

I digress. As I was saying, I know that I need to make some major changes and soon. Detailed as follows:

1: Social Life - Or lack thereof... I used to be a very popular person. I used to walk through the town center and my girlfriend at the time would get irritated, because we couldn't walk for 20 seconds without someone saying hello and stopping for a chat. I used to be friendly, funny, kind, almost hopeful. People wanted to be around me.

So, where did it all go wrong? Who knows. Not I, for sure. At some point, I lost my self-confidence. Possibly for no reason, probably because of bad girlfriends. I wasn't a slut, but I bounced from girlfriend to girlfriend for a while. The pattern went: Meet a girl - Impress girl with good sense of humour - Date girl, fairly seriously - Fall in love with girl (at least it felt like it) - Suddenly girl changes opinion over-night (many different ways, but mainly "I love you"... and then I found out I'm "dumped" and they're dating either one of my friends or one of their friends... Otherwise it was just the good old fashioned "Good Relationship turns bad literally overnight for no apparent reason... They don't talk to me, I go home and then find out it's over".

I have a stable loving relationship now and we don't argue much. No more than any couple living together does. I think that's why I'm taking up blogging again. I can release my thoughts here, leaving the good stuff for my girlfriend.

Anyway, as I was saying... I used to be popular. Now I can't seem to find a friend for love nor money. I had lots of friends in Hemel, but now I have moved to Dunstable, no-one can make the effort to drive 15 minutes up the road to come see me. Don't believe me?! Please find exhibits A, B and C.

------------

Exhibit A) Shortly after moving to my house with Amanda, I invited my entire fucking phone book to come over for a late night party. Understandably, a lot of people couldn't make it. That happens, I can deal with that. What I didn't like was that a total of 16 people said they WOULD be there. So, I go ahead, I make food, buy booze etc etc. It starts getting late, so I make the phone calls. "We're just waiting for xxxxxxx, we'll be there in about 30 minutes". The time comes and goes, so I make another phonecall. "We've left, we should be there in about 30 minutes". Again, nothing, so I make the phone calls. "I don't know what happened to xxxxxxx, he must be asleep". So yes, they had left, but then an hour later, they hadn't seen the driver all day. Strange. From the rest I got the usual cop out excuses and later found out that they had all gone to some club in Luton together. Yes, Luton, to get there, they have to drive past my house. My night was a great success. Only one person turned up. Manda's friend Jenny who also happened to be the ONE person Manda invited about an hour before the night was to start. she put my "friends" to shame that night.

Exhibit B) I have just recently had a two week holiday from work. I didn't go away, because I couldn't afford it if I wanted to. I just stayed at home and invited friends over/out/anywhere. EVERYDAY I invited people and not ONE made any effort to come up or do anything, unless I would go down there to them. Obviously, I don't like doing this, because it leads to disappointment for me. Needless to say, I tried it once early in the holiday. I drove down to Hemel to spend a "few hours" in town with a friend. I left immediately, arrived in Hemel, only to find out that my friend (who had been in town for 15 minutes) was done and decided to go home. It took me longer to drive there in the midday traffic.

*NOTE* It is here that I feel the need to apologise to people like Toby and other real friends (the type where I could not see them for nearly a year, but when I finally do, we just pick up where we left off). Sometimes I have said I would be somewhere or try to visit you, only to no-show. Now, I know I had good reasons for that, mostly because I couldn't drive and when failing to get there, it was due to either having a nightmare getting to Uxbridge from Hemel on public transport (2 long 20 mile bus rides and a shit load of trains that I had no previous experience of using before. Trust me, I used to worry about getting on a train that might be going in the opposite direction) or I would have been cycling for around 35 miles and get knocked off my bike, breaking my foot again. I made all the efforts to get there, but I apologise, because I know how it feels to be on the wrong side of a "no-show".

Exhibit C) For my birthday, my lovely girlfriend arranged a surprise birthday party for me, to prove to me that I did indeed have friends. She did a truly amazing job. I honestly had no idea that anything was happening until I walked through the door and got bombarded with silly-string and party streamers.

Unfortunately, that was her first success. Inviting lots of my friends, not ONE of them managed to show, despite around 10 of them telling her they were all in. So, there I am, at my own birthday party and the first second thing she says, after Happy Birthday of course, is "Sorry, none of your friends turned up. I've got tonnes of food and drink though. I spoke to everybody and they said they'd be here at five, but I guess they're not coming... It being six and all".

------------

To this day, the only two friends who have visited me in my house in nearly a year of living here, are Toby and Gemma. I thank you both from the bottom of my heart for making me not feel completely pathetic.

Back to my list...

2: Work / Career - I think I mentioned how shitty my work is in my last (first?) post. It's got worse since then. I still have no promotion but probably do the most work there and definitely do the best work there. I have won another 4 internal awards for outstanding service and won the HR Waste Challenge Award for my SEVENTEEN unique suggestions as to how to company could perform more efficiently, including one of which I completely implemented myself by creating an easy-to-use, efficient yet still accurate M.I. log sheet that has allowed the team to easily compile extremely detailed Pareto charts that has enabled us to spot all the problem areas in our processes. Basically, (bigging myself up for the first time, career-wise) I have done a fucking good job despite being the lowest grade in the building, probably one step above McDonalds staff and one-step below shit-shoveller.

On top of what transpired before, we've now had a new manager come in and is quickly running our department into the ground. When I joined there, we had 16 members of staff. The work has actually increased in volume and has a couple more processes. We needed more staff. However after being cut repeatedly, in approximately one month there will be just three members of staff. Myself, one more morning person (who finishes at 12pm) and the one who got promoted above me (who now cannot do the work due to audit reasons). In a nutshell, we are royally fucked. Budgets need to be met and the head-count has to be reduced, but making these numbers by cutting the department where the work starts, which is already grossly understaffed, is NOT the place to do it.

It irritates me so much, that I can't actually switch off after I get home from work. At work, I constantly want to shout and/or hit stuff. It's not healthy. I want a new job, one nearer to home and one that pays more than £13k. I used to think this is out of reach, but having seen what I can achieve in a corporation that affords me little to no freedom of duty, where I have had to force people listen to me, I think this is a wage I would easily be worth. I'm not expecting to get that much anytime soon, but I see no reason why I couldn't.

3) Finances - This stems from point number two. I have no savings and sometimes feel like I'm falling slowly into debt. I don't think I am unable to, but it certainly feels like I won't be able to afford the bills, especially with the recent economical doom and gloom being spread around everywhere you look/read. I really need to find a fairly-paid job and cut my spending/out-goings so I have financial stability. My finances are by no means bad, but they're not good, which is where they should be.

I think I'll cut that list short. I see the irony in using that word, but believe me, this list could go on forever. God help me if browser crashes and loses this before I post it.

I don't think it is immediately possible to rectify the above problems, but what I can do is make a start, a small start. I have been listening to music a lot recently which has always been an enjoyment of mine, but I stopped doing it around a year ago. Before that, I used to go to bed every night with my MP3 player, and when I was on the PC the first opened program would be Winamp, without fail. I have only recently started listening to music again and I'm glad I have renewed my passion for it. I like getting lost, just listening to the melodies and experiencing the magic that is harmony.

Right now, that pleasure happens to be coming from Eric Clapton - Layla... The extended version with the Dominoes. The three-minute breakdown at the end of the song is just magical, and never fails to send shivers down my spine. I've been finding a lot of music that has the same effect, but the ones you would most likely have heard of are Newton Faulkner and, wait for it, Avenged Sevenfold. lol AX7 are going to go down as legends I think. They were average at first, but now they are truly becoming a fantastic live act. You may not like their music, but by god, the live version of "Afterlife" is something you HAVE to hear. The guitars are flawed perfection, the bass and drums are tight, the backing vocals are sound and the lead singer, "The Rev" is one of the greats. His voice is something I would trade my soul for. Dirty but it works so well. In fact, I think I shall post a video from Youtube, if any would be kind enough to take 5 minutes and experience it. I doubt you'll be disappointed. You might not like the music, but you'll love the performance, guaranteed.

Newton Faulkner is also someone you MUST listen to. I first experienced his music in the form of "Full Fat" on some obscure musicians television channel approximately 8 years ago. He was using his real name, Shaun Newton Battenburg Faulkner. I desperately tried finding his MP3's on WinMX when the whole MP3 scene starting taking off, to no avail. To my delight though, 8 years later, I heard that same song on the radio and found out that he had finally been signed. I hastily went out, bought the album, and my god he's beautiful. I don't mean to sound gay, but if I could have sex with one man, it'd be him. Sorry Toby, but I guess I'd let you watch... Good enough?

I think I'll leave this post here, because it is monstrously long. I feel better for getting all this off my shoulders mind you, it's almost been enjoyable.

Hopefully if anyone reads this, they'll leave a comment or two. Maybe we could be friends? *smirk*

Stay safe,

Dan

Excuse me if I whinge for a bit...

2007-12-23T05:49:00.007Z

Welcome all, to my new blog.

I have been trying to create a new website to air my views, feelings and general well-being however, amongst illness, feeling generally anxious and being "busy as shit,"I have had rare opportunity to do so. Hence the reason I am here and now. (Here being Dunstable, Now being 5:45am).

The reason for my being up so late (or early, if you count 45 minutes of sleep as a night) is due to more unneccesary strains and stresses on my already stretched tolerance for such things. I shall try not to go into much detail over the next few paragraphs, however I have come to know myself recently and I therefore know I shall fail miserably.

Just a few hours ago, I learnt from my Mother that both of my Sisters have been arrested for an alledged assault. I know this to be absolute bullshit, because I was babysitting for one of them when they came home and told me all about it.

The quietest and most timid of my sisters, Nesta, has been getting a lot of grief for about three years since she fell pregnant with ym neice, Yasmin. This grief has been originating from a nasty piece of work called Gemma Maddox. I do not know this girl, nor did I care to know of her, however what I do know is that she causes a lot of trouble in various establishments in which she has a penchant for "bottle-ing" people.

This night in question, over two weeks ago, involved such an instance. My two sisters were out together with a couple of friends, when this Gemma individual began pushing and pulling my sister Nesta. April (the larger and definitely UNTIMID sister) pushed her away and that seemed to be the end of it. However, later that night when Nesta and April went to the toilets, Gemma followed them in, threw two glass BOTTLES at them (which fortunately missed) and then proceded to repeatedly punch Nesta and pulled some of her hair out. This obviously triggered Aprils rage who leapt to defend her sister, and began pulling Gemma off of her while punching her. Having realised that she had bitten off more than she could chew, Gemma backed off and began to talk to both of my sisters. At this stage, both parties got thrown out of the club and that was the end of the matter. It was just a scuffle that ended in non-aggressive conversation. If only ALL pub scuffles ended that way...

Anyway, this evening (being only two full days away from Xmas, and over TWO WEEKS since the incident) my mother had the police 'literally' banging on the door and responding to my mother asking worriedly "Who is it?", shouting "It's the police, open the door!" They then proceeded to arrest both sisters not even giving them time to grab anything like a mobile phone, doorkeys etc.

I can only guess as to what Gemma has told the police, but I can almost certainly guarantee it's bullshit, just to cause my sisters some incovenience. If anyone has any cause to go to the police, it would be my two sisters after being attacked TWICE and having glass bottles thrown at them. I tried ringing the Police Station and was told "We cannot give you any information for data protection reasons" nor could they give me any idea what was going on. I responded with "Well I guess I am supposed to just sit here and worry then?!" to which the lady responded "Yes, there is nothing I can tell you"... "Well you are fucking useless then!", I responded as I hung up.

As it stands, it is now 6:22am and I or my mother in Hemel have not heard diddly-squat from anyone. Nesta has a 2 year old daughter at home with my mother, and is currently sitting in a Police Station, just days before Xmas because of some spiteful little shit.

I am contemplating making some phone calls to see what can be done about all this. I think I may report that tramp to the police, like my sisters SHOULD have done, had they not thought it would have been a petty issue swept under the carpet. Otherwise, I may look into legal action against the bitch. Either way, someone has to teach this piece of scum that it is NOT ok to throw bottles, nor is it reasonable to waste police time (even if they are a bunch of useless twats half the time) just to spite someone.

And yes, you may sense a subtle tinge of bad feelings towards the police in reading this blog, for I also had to deal with them about a month ago...

Driving home from Hemel through the dark B-Roads through Gaddesdon, I nearly had a head on smash with a car which left my wing-mirror decimated and my entire car OFF the road on a grass-verge. Basically, this idiot must have been in a rush, or perhaps drunk, as they barrelled at about 70mph down the middle of the road straight towards me. They eventually got over to their side of the road, only to veer towards me at the last moment. I had to swing my car away from them, where they smashed my wing-mirror (which shows I was less than a foot away from a head-on-collision. My entire car bumped up a grass verge, as I watched the car speed off down the road, and turned off towards Hemel.

I managed to find my wing-mirror in the road, and got lucky, as I found the casing for their wing-mirror entwined with it. Looking at it, I could see that it had come from a SAAB (having their logo embezzled on the inside of it.

Anyway, I ring the police (999) and proceed to inform them of a maniac on the road who nearly killed me. All goes well until I tell them the car didn't stop, in which they inform me that I have to go to my local station. So, off I trot to Dunstable Police station to go over my account of what happened. They set me up with a case number, but then tell me that because they driver was heading towards Hemel, that I have to go the Hemel Hempstead Police station, to report it to them using my case number and that I need to produce my documents. I head off to Hemel, give them my CASE NUMBER, which they then look up on the system, and proceed to take my details. Little do I know, the lady is creating me another case. It is only when a different "more senior" lady come along that she see my Producer and realises I already have a CASE NUMBER set up (and therefore that the first lady is essentially having me report the same incident twice. At this, she starts talking to me in a raised voice, demanding to know why I am having my details taken again... "YOU CANNOT, I REPEAT, YOU CANNOT REPORT THE SAME ACCIDENT TWICE! THIS HERE *shows me pink slip* IS A PRODUCER, IT MEANS YOU ALREADY HAVE REPORTED THIS ACCIDENT AND YOU WILL HAVE A CASE NUMBER!!"

This rant of hers continues for about 4 minutes, telling me that I am wasting her time etc. I point out that I KNOW I already have a case number, and that I had already given it to the original lady so "can you please drop the attitude?! CHRIST! I am not to know your Police procedures am I??! She asked me questions, and so I answered them!"

After this had been settled, (and she had apologised to me) I then give them the other cars wing-mirror. I am handed it back and told "We will not accept this, it holds no evidential value whatsoever"...

"WTF MITE!?!?"?!?"£!£?"!!!" It is a fucking SILVER, DRIVER SIDE WING-MIRROR, with a SAAB LOGO and PART NUMBER!!! The car was driving through a B-Road linking Dunstable and Hemel at RUSH HOUR suggesting they are returning home from work. If you ring up ALL the SAAB dealerships in the surrounding area (there are only three!) then you can ask them what model this part belongs to, and then ask them if they have had any silver versions of that model come in for a driver-side wing-mirror repair."

To which I was told in quite simple terms "Fuck you, that seems like way too much hard work to find someone who nearly could have killed you"

Seriously... Whatever happened to INVESTIGATING and JUSTICE?

Another thing that is pissing me off, is that energy company known as Powergen/Eon being absolutely fucktards and continually cocking up my billing by charging me using my neighbours meter. This takes 12 phone calls to themselves and their varying debt collection services which continually tell me that the problem and faux-charge-that-I-haven't-actually-run-up-yet have been resolved, only to follow up with another "chaser" letter a week later (and another 12 phone calls etc...) I do not believe anyone can do anything correctly these days.

Finally, I had my annual performance review at work, which despite being good, was still a slap in the face. I was given a good rating (and therefore a good bonus) which I was happy with. I was told that my manager had wanted to put me higher (with even more bonus), but "they" (whoever "they" might be) would not let them do so, as they could not justify me jumping up through so many levels.

I thought that was a bit poppy-cock at the time, as I thought your review should fairly represent the amount and quality of work you had put in and didn't have to be "worked towards" to get the higher levels.

Anyway, slap in the face... Yes. I later find out that another worker, who has been there for less time, knows a third less than I do (with the third in question being very difficult to learn, which opens up a whole new level of initiative and knowledge) and who often uses me as their "referral point", got exactly the same performance review as I.

Don't get me wrong, they're a great worker, but it just stinks of double standards. They can't justify me getting the review my effort and knowledge deserves because it's too much of a jump, however someone can jump straight in at my level knowing less and having less experience. Putting it simply... If this person learns EXACTLY the same as I know now, next year they can move up to the next levels that I haven't been able to do this year. Which means that for me to move up next year, I have to make changes to the procedures to make them more effective (wait, I've already done that as winning two awards show) or basically something "above and beyond the call of duty" (wait, I generally do that too)...

Sound like a level playing field? Pfft, and here I am feeling guilty that I've been off ill for two days, leaving the others to do the work.

So, that's how I'm feeling in a rather large nutshell. Feel free to comment, or not.

ChaPPers out.